Fishing for Competence

This weekend I enjoyed an afternoon of leisure, venturing out to nearby Newport/Balboa for a deep-sea fishing excursion. I'd wanted to do this for a very long time, so I just told myself "Well Suzanne, you might as well just do it." And so I did. For anyone also interested in a daily fishing trip, check out Davey's Locker, as they took mighty good care of me all day Sunday.

The ocean, however, was not as kind as the sun-dappled deckhands. I never think of myself as a lucky person...never won at the lottery, always on the losing sports team, and when I go fishing, its always everyone around me that catches the fish. Sure enough, I continued my streak and ended up going hom empty-handed. I did, however, learn something important. My lesson can be summed up in the lyrics of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young:

You who are the road
Must have a code that you live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good-bye
Teach your children well
Their father's hell did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry
So just look at them and sigh,
And know they love you.

I've never seen more badly behaved children in my life.

Now, mind you. Kids and fishing go together like peas and carrots; when I was a child, my mom would drop my brother Matt and I off at the lake in the morning with a tackelbox, a cup of nightcrawlers, and our lines - and then pick us up a few hours later. We'd quietly sit there, cutting bait, casting out, and reeling in little bass, pickerel, pike, and sunfish. When we got a little older, we'd go out onto the ocean with our father and go for the bigger catch. We always worked our own poles, and we were taught to respect things like sharp hooks and the other fishers around us. "Everyone wants their chance to catch fish, kids," my parents would say; "Give them their space, and make sure you command your own." Great advice, and I maintain it to this day.

Advice that these kids never got. I was whined at, bumped into, had my pole grabbed at, and had my bait snatched by shorties that just wanted to throw the sardines to the flocking seagulls that only returned the free meal with a nice random splattering of crap. The parents were no better, either ignorning the behaviour or flat-out encouraging it. I was the one that got dirty looks. Me...the girl alone, in the Yankee cap, baiting her own hook and NOT getting her line tangled with everyone elses. The one not catching any fish. Why did I get scowled at? Because I told a pudgy, whimpery, sticky-handed child that he couldn't have the mackerel I just caught because I had to throw it back? Kid, you're not worth breaking the law for. Though I walked away without dinner, I was reminded that parents are so important to a kid's life. Kids can be a total pleasure. But only if they are taught to enjoy the pleasures of what it is they are doing. I'll try the fishing thing again soon, and this time hope I'm a little luckier with both whats underneath the boat as inside of it.