Cold, Rainy New Jersey Days

My Grandmother was an amazing woman, but I didn't know she could help control the weather. Her viewing/wake was on Sunday, and it was chilly and a little rainy, but not too bad. However, the forcast for her funeral on Monday was heavy rain and cold, possibly icy conditions. Monday morning was covered in a thick blanket of fog, but once we got to the funeral parlor, the sun came out. And then it was perfectly clear, sunny and it even went up t 65 degrees. In New Jersey! In January! It stayed wonderful until the evening, when the services had concluded, and the good-byes had been said, that it clouded back up and the rain began in earnest. Today, it's grey and rainy again, and the sky just seems unhappy.

I held it together rather well, given the circumstances. I love my Grandmother deeply. She was the only Grandmother I knew; my father's mother died of surgical complications when he was only 17. So, Grandma Gladys (or just "Glad") was the one who filled those all-important Grandma duties. She played Yahtzee! with us in the Poconos, and fried balony for us - a very decadent treat given how health-conscious my mother was. Small, ceramic dishes propped around her house promised morsels of candy, and we spent much time huntin down every little dish to see what it contained. We played with her fur coats and old costume jewelry in her attic, often dressing up the younger brothers and ourselves and then parading in her living room while she laughed. She was pretty great.

Seeing her in her casket wasn't all that difficult. She looked so peaceful, small and at rest. Her lips almost seemed at times to be hiding a slight smile; she always had this great smile that made you think she knew more than she often let on. She knew something we didn't. I lost it, however, when I got to the church. Walking up the stairs behind my mother, aunt and uncle, who helped my Grandpa follow her casket, I saw the long aisle of the church lit with candles. The Rosary Society that my Grandmother led for years came out in full force, and lined the entire aisle holding small votives. The ruddy, soft faces of these elderly women, watching their best friend and Rosarian leader make her final entrance in the church she loved so dearly, was too much for me to bear. I could not stop the tears as I made eye contact with those sad ladies...and then knowing that 63 years ago, my Grandfather walked her down the aisle to pledge his love to her until death...not knowing how fast 63 years can go by. And he kept his promise, until death loving her, and walking her again to the altar to one last time promise his eternal love as she was welcomed to eternal peace. I just lost it completely.

She made the sun shine, she made the night dark, and she made my life wonderful for 25 years. I wish I could have been a better Grand-daughter, but I loved her so much and will always love her. Her memory is rich and honorable, and she is not gone but is now forever. I cried in the church, but at one point I could not stop smiling - I just saw her sweet face, that surprised and genuine smile, and her sparkly eyes inside her large bifocals, laughing and smiling and loving her family - and I knew that was how she lived and how she'd watch over us now.