Settled In
It's been a week since I've returned from France. The bags are unpacked, the souveniers given away, and the wine has been racked. I have most of my photos developed, but not all of them, because the roll of film isn't used up yet. So how the sun is out and I'm leaving for church in about an hour, because it's Sunday.
It's amazing to me how quickly my week went by. 24 periods of time don't seem too long anymore...I wonder if that's how it goes as you get older. As a child, it used to take me a long time to walk across the backyard, having little legs and all. Similarly, time seemed to creep by...perhaps because I had a smaller understanding of the meaning of time? I'm not sure. All I know is that time is only supposed to fly if you're having fun, and I can't say I've been having fun the entire time that my days are racing away at an incredible rate.
I think its the result of having been in a beautiful country all last week, and then coming home to California, that has me a bit melancholy. I didn't come home to much. Apartment, friends, job, car. Sounds nice I guess but is that really all? I've got that unfulfilled feeling again and I'm not sure where it's coming from. I look out the window and I think "Really, is this what there is?" I know people love California and come from miles around to be here, but I can't be the only one who has a hankering to get in her car and drive away, again, to somewhere else. Anywhere else.
I wish that wasn't my first instinct to run away when I get that feeling. Well, I suppose its not running away, but running towards. I ran to California (not literally...that would be quite a feat) but I had to escapte the New Jersey winters. Winter here is certainly milder, but the city is so unwelcoming that it feels just as cold. I don't even like the way I blog lately...I used to be funnier. I think I wrote this exact same blog entry a few months ago. Meh. That's what SoCal is...meh. Well....let's see what I can change about that.
It's amazing to me how quickly my week went by. 24 periods of time don't seem too long anymore...I wonder if that's how it goes as you get older. As a child, it used to take me a long time to walk across the backyard, having little legs and all. Similarly, time seemed to creep by...perhaps because I had a smaller understanding of the meaning of time? I'm not sure. All I know is that time is only supposed to fly if you're having fun, and I can't say I've been having fun the entire time that my days are racing away at an incredible rate.
I think its the result of having been in a beautiful country all last week, and then coming home to California, that has me a bit melancholy. I didn't come home to much. Apartment, friends, job, car. Sounds nice I guess but is that really all? I've got that unfulfilled feeling again and I'm not sure where it's coming from. I look out the window and I think "Really, is this what there is?" I know people love California and come from miles around to be here, but I can't be the only one who has a hankering to get in her car and drive away, again, to somewhere else. Anywhere else.
I wish that wasn't my first instinct to run away when I get that feeling. Well, I suppose its not running away, but running towards. I ran to California (not literally...that would be quite a feat) but I had to escapte the New Jersey winters. Winter here is certainly milder, but the city is so unwelcoming that it feels just as cold. I don't even like the way I blog lately...I used to be funnier. I think I wrote this exact same blog entry a few months ago. Meh. That's what SoCal is...meh. Well....let's see what I can change about that.
posted by The Semi-Pro Chef at Sunday, January 15, 2006
2 Comments:
Finally, someone else who understands "Meh".
I have this feeling of unfulfilledness all the time. I spend my time trying to find someone to share my life w/and inspire me instead of inspiring myself, fulfulling my potential and then finding someone...am I doing it all backwords?
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