Best Jury Duty Experience Ever

I had to serve jury duty today. It was my first time; for 7 stealthy years, I had avoided my civic responsibility. But the law found me, and so it was my turn to serve.

It was actually my turn to serve about 2 months ago. The LA county court system has this phone-in method where you are officially "on call" all week; you just call in each day to see if you have to report. Back in November, I was "on call", but I unfortunately forgot to call in one day. That was the day I was needed. Ugh! I worked it out with a nice county employee, who rescheduled my service to February. How quickly November turned to February!

Above, a judge of the Los Angeles Superior Court System. Circa 1978.

When I told people I was serving jury duty this week, the response was always, "Oh...I'm sorry." The general consesus is that jury duty sucks. Having never served it, I was under that impression myself. Until I got to go see it for myself. And you know what? Jury duty is pretty freakin' spectacular.

For one, I got the day off work and I even slept in an extra hour. That's because I didn't have to report until 8 am, and I'm usually at work by at least 7 am. So that extra hour was nice. The day was shaping up to be a really beautiful day, and I enjoyed the possibility of taking my scheduled hour-and-a-half lunch break outside. At work, I only get a half hour, or an hour on some days; that lunchbreak sounded pretty sweet to me.

Everyone says "bring a book" when you serve jury duty. I guess there's a lot of waiting around. I brought two books hoping to stave off boredom in the supposedly-boring jury assembly room. But what a surprise: the jury assembly room was awesome. Let me say that again: it was awesome. It had large, cushy red benches that you could totally nap on. I sunk into one of the benches and marvelled at the high ceilings, the spectacular view of downtown LA (we were on the 7th floor of the civic building, and today was a rare "clear" day in LA. Gorgeous!)

All beautiful people serve on juries. It's a fact.

Next to each bench was a small table, and piled on top of all the tables were tons of interesting books and magazines. There were soda machines, computers where we could get onto the internet (for a very small fee), and then I saw them: bookshelf upon bookshelf of PUZZLES. Many people don't know this about me, but I am a PUZZLE FREAK. The more difficult the puzzle, the more I want it. My mom once got me and my brother this 3000 piece puzzle called an "Impossible". It had no edge pieces, it had a recurring patterns of goldfish against a flat blue background, and it had five extra pieces that didn't fit anywhere. The lady in the store said most people never solve them and end up returning them in frustration. My brother and I were done in 3 weeks. Granted, we didn't sleep for most of that time, but we did it. My mom laminated it with puzzle glue and took a picture of it back to the store. The store lady was like "Who did that?" and my very proud mother bragged "My 12 year old daughter and her 10 year old brother." The weight of our preternatural puzzle-solving talents was undoubtedly too much for this woman, who for some reason, didn't believe my mom.

I digress. To me, heaven is one big great palace full of puzzles. God and I do a 5 billion piece puzzle together for eternity while discussing the eternal Truths about Christ and love. It is a beautiful scene. Back on earth, the jury assembly room was shaping up to be pretty sweet.

A crackle came from above, and the electric sound of a loudspeaker being turned on made everyone in the room sit up. A very melodic, yet dryly sarcastic, woman's voice welcomed us to jury duty. She came out of this little room in the back and for the next half hour or so walked us through orientation. We filled out some forms, and she kept the air light with little jokes peppered in. She knew most of us didn't want to be here, and from her dry demeanor, it was clear this may not be the job she envisioned doing as a little girl. But she was going to make the best of it, which was also to our benefit. You could tell everyone in the room liked her immediately.

One juror can make a difference. Could I be that juror?

After a painless orientation we watched this awesome video. It was about 20 minutes long and was this giant advertisement for how! wonderful! jury! duty! is! Badly acted, it at least looked like it was made in the past decade. The only thing that would have made it more awesome would be if it was made in 1978 and everyone wore feathered mullets. But even still, as a loyal Mistie, I loved the opportunity to sit and make wisecracks to myself while watching an overeager actor gush about how much she loved serving on a jury. I do admit, however, after they explained how it all worked, I was kinda jonesin' to get on a jury. It seemed alright after all.

When the movie was over, our orientation lady dismissed us for a morning break. "I finished early I guess...so, you guys just be back by 10:20 am." Alright! I'd been there less than 2 hours and I was already getting a 45 minute break! I went outside and got a coffee, and sat in the sun enjoying how gorgeous the day was. Had I been at work, I'd be in a flourescent-lit cubicle farm instead of enjoying the fresh morning air. The coffee was so good, and I had this dumb smile on my face just feeling the California spring sun on my skin. In February! Did you know it's snowing in New Jersey? I called my dad to brag. He just sighed heavily.

Back inside, the infamous "Waiting period" commenced. I grabbed a thick fashion magazine and began leafing through. Someone turned the TV to the news, and after a while I overheard "Now, Channel Four's 11:00 news." I read some more of the magazine, and then overheard "Welcome to Channel Four's 11:30 new." A half hour went by already? In just thirty minutes, it's lunchtime! Cool!

However, at 11:45 am, the loudspeaker crackled again. "I'm going to start calling a few names. When I call your name, say 'here' and wait further instructions." Everyone looked at each other nervously, and the orientation lady started calling roll. About six names in, she called mine. I confidently said "Here!" I counted until I heard twelve names, and waited for her to tell us what courtroom to go to. But she kept counting. Thirteen names, fourteen names, etc. I thought "Wow, there must be a lot of trials to screen juries for." Twenty names, twenty one, twenty two. Pretty soon, everyone in the room had said "Here!" Orientation lady got quiet, and then started to give us our instructions.

"OK everyone - take your juror badge out of the plastic holder" - which we all then did - "And then put it back it. Hahaha! Kidding! Hahaha!" We all laughed nervously, and I think we all collectively thought "What the heck? It's ten minutes until lunch...what is going on?" But orientation lady didn't leave us hanging long. We heard the sweetest words ever spoken to a roomful of potential jurors: "The court's given us clearance, and you can all go home. Your jury service has been fulfilled and you are done for the year. See ya."

A cheer went up through the crowd! We all filed up to drop off our badges, and I walked somewhat wistfully past the shelves of puzzles. I never got to touch a single puzzle piece. But my sadness faded quickly when I realized it was noon, I was outside again, and I had the WHOLE DAY AHEAD OF ME. Jury duty rules!

Above, a court reporter I never got to see.

I enjoyed lunch outside with a neighbor, and spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning my apartment and listening to music. I even took a little nap. When work called to ask how it was going down at juryland, I hesitated to tell them that I was done before noon...but I'm honest, and it came out. I was worried they'd make me go in for a half day or something, but my boss who is awesome told me to enjoy my day. And I did!

Though I loved leaving early, I knew that staying wouldn't be terrible either. If I had to stay all day, I know I would have done about four of those 1000 piece puzzles. I was excited to be a part of the judicial process. It was also interesting being in a room with a truly diverse group of people. I started getting all sorts of ideas for screenplays with ensemble casts, set in a jury assemblyroom. Thriller: The room is haunted by the spirits of jurors past! Don't get called to courtroom 13! Romance: Two unwilling jurors find love at the soda machine. Action: Russian spies are planning to affect the outcome of one of LA's most notorious trials, and the day is saved by a rogue juror! It could go so many ways. Jury duty is good for the creative juices.

All told, jury duty was pretty sweet. In another 12 months I'll be eligible again. I can wait for it...but I won't bemoan it when my name is called.

Hooray! Jury duty is awesome!