This Is Not A Valentine's Day Post
No sir, it is not. I have no Valentine, I have no desire for a Valentine, and quite frankly I think Valentine's Day is silly. I do, however, have a softness in my heart for the song "My Funny Valentine" because well...it is a beautiful love song, and also a huge string of backhanded compliments. I think it is the meanest song to sing to someone you love, because it basically says "I think you're ugly and stupid. But I like you that way, so don't change." What a love letter.
After the exhausting cleverness of my last post, I am unable to come up with something witty for Valentine's Day. I could rail against it, but that would just sound pouty. Oh pity me, the single girl with no one to buy her flowers. Well, people do buy me flowers, and they aren't my valentines. I would even talk about how happy I am being single, but that would sound defensive, like I'm trying to hard to cover up something...I just cannot win. This is the most horrible holiday ever...making me anxious for no reason. Plus, I find the combination of red and pink to be a highly offensive color combination, so the fact that aisles in Rite-Aid are completely dripping with this disgusting color combination makes me physically ill. Well, insofar as it hurts my eyes. I mean...I don't even like chocolate, unless its very small amounts of dark chocolate.
And after all, Valentine's Day makes no sense whatsoever, to me at least. Saint Valentine was a martyr. He was caught aiding the Christian couples that wanted to get married (along with Saint Marius) and was caught by Claudius II, who had outlawed marriages. Claudius Dos, being more than a little ticked off, arrested Mr. Valentine, dragged him bodily through the streets, and had him beaten to death. His head was also cut off. This apparently happened on February 14.
The Christian Church in Rome (I believe now known as the Catholics) had a lot to do with the changeover towards Valentine's Day as we know it. Just like Christmas got a makeover from the pagan solistice and tree-worshipping ceremonies that offended the Catholics, Valentine's Day descends from a very pagan ceremony. The Lupercalia, a feast to honor a heathen god, involved putting the names of all the eligible young women in a box. Men would draw them at random, ostensibly to take them out for overpriced fixed menus at their local Red Lobster.
The church, not liking all this wanton date-drawing, changed the custom and began drawing names of saints. And apparently, they decided that Saint Valentine would be the patron saint of the February feast formerly known as Lupercalia.
And so we have our modern day Valentine's Day.
I write all this not because I dislike Valentine's Day; I just think the creation of this holiday is rather humorous. I like learning the history of these sorts of things - why do we do what we do? I know I wrote earlier defending Christmas from people who do just what I did above: nitpick the reasons for the season, as if it did anything to lessen the importance and beauty of the holiday.
I do not place Christmas anywhere near Valentine's Day on the holiday importance scale, but I guess I do appreciate its existence. If I had a "Valentine" this year, I'd feel the same about it - of course, if that Valentine got me flowers I would probably be giddy as a giddy little girl. I'd love it. I do, however, think the creation of Valentine's Day is rather silly, given the history behind it and how violent Saint Valentine's end was. At least with Christmas, our Christ was born and we celebrate it regardless of whatever happened before. Maybe he wasn't born on that day, but that is the day we celebrate his birth. Valentine's Day was begat out of the brutal murder of a saint who married people in secret; it was also set on February 14th because of a pagan dating/marriage ritual. I just think it's a little silly.
But, I guess ultimately, without silliness, we'd be awfully dull people. And I did buy my mom flowers. I like thinking of her getting roses on Valentine's Day...besides, her prayers need to be answered, and I know she's praying to Saint Theresa. And that saint deserves more than just a day to her honor, in my humble opinion.
After the exhausting cleverness of my last post, I am unable to come up with something witty for Valentine's Day. I could rail against it, but that would just sound pouty. Oh pity me, the single girl with no one to buy her flowers. Well, people do buy me flowers, and they aren't my valentines. I would even talk about how happy I am being single, but that would sound defensive, like I'm trying to hard to cover up something...I just cannot win. This is the most horrible holiday ever...making me anxious for no reason. Plus, I find the combination of red and pink to be a highly offensive color combination, so the fact that aisles in Rite-Aid are completely dripping with this disgusting color combination makes me physically ill. Well, insofar as it hurts my eyes. I mean...I don't even like chocolate, unless its very small amounts of dark chocolate.
And after all, Valentine's Day makes no sense whatsoever, to me at least. Saint Valentine was a martyr. He was caught aiding the Christian couples that wanted to get married (along with Saint Marius) and was caught by Claudius II, who had outlawed marriages. Claudius Dos, being more than a little ticked off, arrested Mr. Valentine, dragged him bodily through the streets, and had him beaten to death. His head was also cut off. This apparently happened on February 14.
The Christian Church in Rome (I believe now known as the Catholics) had a lot to do with the changeover towards Valentine's Day as we know it. Just like Christmas got a makeover from the pagan solistice and tree-worshipping ceremonies that offended the Catholics, Valentine's Day descends from a very pagan ceremony. The Lupercalia, a feast to honor a heathen god, involved putting the names of all the eligible young women in a box. Men would draw them at random, ostensibly to take them out for overpriced fixed menus at their local Red Lobster.
The church, not liking all this wanton date-drawing, changed the custom and began drawing names of saints. And apparently, they decided that Saint Valentine would be the patron saint of the February feast formerly known as Lupercalia.
And so we have our modern day Valentine's Day.
I write all this not because I dislike Valentine's Day; I just think the creation of this holiday is rather humorous. I like learning the history of these sorts of things - why do we do what we do? I know I wrote earlier defending Christmas from people who do just what I did above: nitpick the reasons for the season, as if it did anything to lessen the importance and beauty of the holiday.
I do not place Christmas anywhere near Valentine's Day on the holiday importance scale, but I guess I do appreciate its existence. If I had a "Valentine" this year, I'd feel the same about it - of course, if that Valentine got me flowers I would probably be giddy as a giddy little girl. I'd love it. I do, however, think the creation of Valentine's Day is rather silly, given the history behind it and how violent Saint Valentine's end was. At least with Christmas, our Christ was born and we celebrate it regardless of whatever happened before. Maybe he wasn't born on that day, but that is the day we celebrate his birth. Valentine's Day was begat out of the brutal murder of a saint who married people in secret; it was also set on February 14th because of a pagan dating/marriage ritual. I just think it's a little silly.
But, I guess ultimately, without silliness, we'd be awfully dull people. And I did buy my mom flowers. I like thinking of her getting roses on Valentine's Day...besides, her prayers need to be answered, and I know she's praying to Saint Theresa. And that saint deserves more than just a day to her honor, in my humble opinion.
posted by The Semi-Pro Chef at Monday, February 13, 2006
3 Comments:
Personally, I think the line that sums up this holiday for me comes from "A Charlie Brown Christmas", when CB goes to the mailbox and doesn't find any cards for him:
"I know no one likes me. Why do we need a holiday to emphasize it?"
Well said.
I went out to dinner with my roommate (male) yesterday, and spent a strangely anxious hour entertaining irrational thoughts of being perceived as a couple.
Anyway, this is Mike. I got the apartment, and will be moving in this weekend or during next week! woohoo! can't wait.
St. Theresa is my fav, too-- it always seemed easier to relate to her because her story is more contemporary than the other "Lives of the Saints" they taught us in school.
Great post~
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