Changes
It is time for some changes in my life. It has been one year since a significant event in my life occured, and with the final half of the year 2006 ahead of me, I am preparing for a radical transformation that I feel will shake the cobwebs off my spirit and refresh my soul.
First, as of today I am officially a chatecumen at St. John the Theologian Eastern Orthodox Christian church. I made the decision a few months ago to convert, but my education in the faith officially begins today. I have my book, I have my lessons, but most importantly I have the commitment of myself and of my church to see me through a year of learning. By Easter season next year, I will have completed my chatecism and will be officially a member of the Eastern Orthodox church. I have such a great feeling in my soul about this; it is the single greatest life change that I have yet experienced, beyond the decision I made in 2002 to move to California.
Second, I made the tough but necessary decision to move away from Whittier. I have spent three years living here, with an incredible community of friends and neighbors, and it is with great sadness that I leave a town and a life built here that I love. But as my good friends also move on, to other parts of the world, I recognize that the memories I have in Whittier are not always fond. There is a lot of sadness I experienced here, as well as incredible happiness. I will be leaving in August, moving to Orange, and starting a new life in a new home in a new town, with new neighbors. What I will be enjoying, however, are old friends again - old friends who I will now live closer to, and be able to better share in their lives. My church, my job, and hopefully my school will be closer to me, and I'll be part of a great community again.
Third, today I will submit my completed application for graduate school. I am applying to one program - the UCI Fully Employed MBA program. And while I recognize that I am a qualified candidate, I am still nervous as all get-out because this IS the only program I will be applying to. I made the decision about two months ago, almost on a whim, but it has progressed nicely and the school has confirmed that this is definitely the right time and place for me to continue my education. I know they want me to be a student there, or at least that's the impression I get - I just have to make sure I position myself in the best light. Even the most confident person has anxiety as to whether they are good enough for what they truly want the most - and in this case, I go to bed at night hoping my essays are well-written enough, my studies for the GMAT are complete enough, and that when the day comes that I get the envelope, that it is a thick one. Please pray for me, as I will know by the end of this month if I am accepted or not.
In smaller changes, I am once again going blonde. I like myself with lighter hair. And speaking of lighter...I made the somewhat difficult decision to join Weight Watchers. Well, the decision itself was easy, but admitting to myself that I really needed to join WW was the difficult part. "But you're not overweight," some well-meaning friends have said. But that's not the point...the point is, I'm not the woman I want to be. How can I get confident enough, and open to the love of someone else, if I cannot feel love for who I am? I hope I can find the strentgh withim myself to remain as committed to my own health as I am to my faith and my education.
First, as of today I am officially a chatecumen at St. John the Theologian Eastern Orthodox Christian church. I made the decision a few months ago to convert, but my education in the faith officially begins today. I have my book, I have my lessons, but most importantly I have the commitment of myself and of my church to see me through a year of learning. By Easter season next year, I will have completed my chatecism and will be officially a member of the Eastern Orthodox church. I have such a great feeling in my soul about this; it is the single greatest life change that I have yet experienced, beyond the decision I made in 2002 to move to California.
Second, I made the tough but necessary decision to move away from Whittier. I have spent three years living here, with an incredible community of friends and neighbors, and it is with great sadness that I leave a town and a life built here that I love. But as my good friends also move on, to other parts of the world, I recognize that the memories I have in Whittier are not always fond. There is a lot of sadness I experienced here, as well as incredible happiness. I will be leaving in August, moving to Orange, and starting a new life in a new home in a new town, with new neighbors. What I will be enjoying, however, are old friends again - old friends who I will now live closer to, and be able to better share in their lives. My church, my job, and hopefully my school will be closer to me, and I'll be part of a great community again.
Third, today I will submit my completed application for graduate school. I am applying to one program - the UCI Fully Employed MBA program. And while I recognize that I am a qualified candidate, I am still nervous as all get-out because this IS the only program I will be applying to. I made the decision about two months ago, almost on a whim, but it has progressed nicely and the school has confirmed that this is definitely the right time and place for me to continue my education. I know they want me to be a student there, or at least that's the impression I get - I just have to make sure I position myself in the best light. Even the most confident person has anxiety as to whether they are good enough for what they truly want the most - and in this case, I go to bed at night hoping my essays are well-written enough, my studies for the GMAT are complete enough, and that when the day comes that I get the envelope, that it is a thick one. Please pray for me, as I will know by the end of this month if I am accepted or not.
In smaller changes, I am once again going blonde. I like myself with lighter hair. And speaking of lighter...I made the somewhat difficult decision to join Weight Watchers. Well, the decision itself was easy, but admitting to myself that I really needed to join WW was the difficult part. "But you're not overweight," some well-meaning friends have said. But that's not the point...the point is, I'm not the woman I want to be. How can I get confident enough, and open to the love of someone else, if I cannot feel love for who I am? I hope I can find the strentgh withim myself to remain as committed to my own health as I am to my faith and my education.
posted by The Semi-Pro Chef at Sunday, July 02, 2006
3 Comments:
Hi Suzanne,
Orange is wonderful. I lived 2 blocks from the Circle in the SE quadrant in a Victorian for 5 years and loved the neighborhood.
smiles, jen ;o)
Change is a really good thing, it is the natural thing: hair color, grad school moving, all of these I can relate to. I think that we become stagnant if we don’t instigate change. Have no fear with grad school, I started my low residency this summer, it is awesome, I had such fears surrounding going back to school. Yet when I finally did I was able to utilize so much and it has already changed the way I perceive things, the way I think, and the way that I cope.
Now if I could just find another place to live…
Go for it! :)
Post a Comment
<< Home